The NFL is garbage: Thursday Night Football

 

    Nothing to see here, just a normal interaction between a Referee and two players during a live play. This may be one of the most ridiculous things I've every seen in a Football game to be honest. I'm not sure how to even joke about this because this is honestly a giant issue that we can't overlook. 

    To recap, Tom Brady just threw an interception and Derek Barnett being the team player he is goes on the offensive and blocks the first guy he sees (Tom Brady). The Ref must have thought he blocking was a little aggressive, but not aggressive enough to throw a flag. Instead he throws himself in the middle of the two players during a LIVE PLAY. This is an obvious case of favoritism going on here and I think it's bullshit. 

    I'm not advocating as a fan for either team because I couldn't care less who won the fucking game. But the results of the game are supposed to be decided by skill, strategy, and luck. Not by favoritism and obvious collusion. In the greater scheme of things this interaction meant absolutely nothing to the play at hand; but if they favor QBs like this, then what else do they favor during play right?

    It's to the point that you can really believe what's going on during the game is actually a fair judgement. Roger Goodell (Anti-Football Bitch) has turned this league into something that's hard to really enjoy watching anymore. I love football but it's getting to be too much for me. I'm not saying I'm at the breaking point yet, but we all as a fanbase have to stand together and let them know that they can't let this shit go on anymore. 

    I don't know why they're so obsessed with keeping Brady healthy anymore. He is without a doubt in my mind the most successful football player of all time, but just let him go. Let him get hit and injured like every other player so we can stop having these discussions. It's an unfortunate but realistic part of the game. 

Conclusion

    I don't think this is Tom Brady's fault. I believe that the NFL thinks that he still brings in viewers and fills seats, so this is their way of greedily milking him for all the money they can make off of him. 

Say Something Nice

    That Referee has got some balls to throw himself in the middle like that. 

The London Games: Does the NFL hate England?

 

   New York Jets, Atlanta Falcons, Miami Dolphins, and the Jacksonville Jaguars. These are the four teams that were decided to represent our country to play two games in London this year. The combined total record for those four teams are 4-16. So we have to ask the question, does the NFL hate the country of England?

    The answer should not shock you, Yes. I believe that Roger Goodell (anti-"American" football pussy) is purposefully punishing the entire country of England for not fully embracing American Football yet. We all know great things come when Roger Goodell starts punishing people for his own made up rules. Spy-gate, Deflate-gate, Ray Rice, etc. 

    The thing about it is............ I don't think England knows they're being punished. Think about it, we send a bunch of shitty football teams to play each other so the matchup probably looks pretty good to someone who knows nothing about Futbal Americano. Even the low scores can't really surprise them, they watch soccer (other football) for Christ sake. They probably see a score of 14-17 and think it's the craziest thing they've ever watched. Have you ever actually watched soccer? No? Me either. I tried to watch a girls High School match one time and I think I left at the half to go back road drinking with my friends. 

    If the Brits had any knowledge of actual Football teams, they would know that they're getting fucked over big time. If the NFL really wanted to gain more attention over the pond they would send teams and players that everyone around the world knows like Tom Brady and Tom Brady? Whatever, the point is that this is the only "real world" exposure that the NFL gets besides Mexico City which I'll agree is probably not healthy for anyone involved. 

Conclusion

    The NFL absolutely hates England. Roger Goodell (anti-football pussy) doesn't want to grown the game. Soccer is so boring that it makes even the shittiest football games look phenomenal. God Save the Queen. 

Projection

Dolphins: 12  

Jaguars: 2 

Divorce in Detroit: Why The Lions Should Move to St. Louis

    

    The City of St. Louis Missouri and the NFL are in the middle of a lawsuit involving the NFL's unfair relocation of the Rams and it's affect on the City and fans. That's all I care about talking about that because its a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo that I literally don't understand. What I do understand is a way that the NFL can make everyone involved happy and regain their market in St. Louis. Move the Detroit Lions to St. Louis. There is already talks of maybe creating an expansion team for St. Louis, so why not just make Martha Ford and all the other dipshits that rule over the Lions pack their bags and get the hell out of Dodge?

    I believe that Lions fans have had enough of this team so its a win win either way. I believe this could open opportunities for both the City of Detroit and for the Lions. With the talk of an expansion team being a possibility, why not bring one to Detroit? I can almost guarantee that Detroit fans would come around to it within two to three years. Mostly because most Lions fans can't stand the Fords, and I don't blame them. They're as cheap as their F-150s and their quality is shit. 

    

    You may ask "Who has enough money to create a new NFL franchise?" One answer, Jeff "supervillain" Besos. He would have an opportunity to finally own his own NFL team and do with it what he pleases. He has more money than 99% of the world combined, imagine the type of talent he could bring?!?!?! (minus cap space issues). Detroit deserves much better than what the Fords have given them. 

    Who even cares what the team's name is at that point either? He could name them the Detroit "Single Day Delivery" for all I care and Detroit fans would probably be ecstatic. Amazon Stadium, Welcome to the Jungle, shit would be electric. I guarantee the atmosphere there would be insane. Order a beer through amazon and have it delivered by drone. Now that I think about it The Detroit Express would be a way better name.

    The Lions days in Detroit are coming to a close. I'd say it's been a nice run, but we all know that would be a lie. St. Louis could be a fresh start for the Fords. Look at Matt Stafford, guy leaves The Lions and is having an MVP season. Divorce is not the end, but the start of something new. Trust me as a guy who's parents have been through multiple divorces, Christmases just get better and better. 

Conclusion

    The Lions and Detroit need a Divorce, the Love is gone and the kids are all moved out. St. Louis is the Step Dad that Dan Campbell doesn't exactly want but needs, and Jeff Besos can be Detroit's sugar daddy. 

Projection

Detroit (17) - Bengals (21)

    

NotJimBobs's totally opinionated Week 7 College Football Top 10

 Top 10 coming into Week 7

#1: Georgia (6-0)

Most Dominant team on the list by far

#2: Iowa (6-0)

Pulled off a close game against equal Penn State. Defense wins championships. 

#3: Penn State (5-1)

Lost a close game against Iowa, they may have a loss but I believe they're still in contention for spot in the playoffs

#4: Cincinnati (5-0)

Currently the best college football team in the state of Ohio, if they can keep up this level of play. It won't be enough for them to go undefeated as the American Athletic Conference is a cakewalk. They need to dominate. 

#5: Ohio State (5-1)

I hate these guys but they aren't bad. Don't expect a conference championship with their coming schedule.

#6: Alabama (5-1)

I'm so happy they lost. Expect a regression in play. 

#7: Michigan State (6-0)

Defense is definitely a problem, but who cares if Kenneth Walker III can score just as fast. 

#8: Michigan (6-0)

Same old Harbaugh, won't run up the score on anyone ever. Don't expect much. 

#9: Oregon (4-1)

The overtime loss to Stanford was a kick in the nuts, but I'm sure they'll start playing some more convincing games. 

#10: Oklahoma (6-0)

Frauds. 

Jon Gruden Hired as new Head Coach for The Adolf Hitler School of Tolerance and Understanding

    

    After being wrongfully released by the Oakland Raiders on 10/11/21, Jon Gruden has decided to take a step back and finish this fall by accepting a Head Coaching position at The Adolf Hitler School of Tolerance and Understanding, Arians. He will be replacing former Arians Coach, Hans Gruber, who resigned to follow his dreams of Domestic Terrorism. Gruden will only be the 3rd head coach in the history of the school in what seems like a series of crusades for the young football program. 

    When asked why he decided on settling for a high school job Gruden had this to say, 

"This is the only logical path for me heading forward. I need to show everyone that I'm not the racist, sexist, and homophobic man that all these butt-fucks are saying I am. Once I clear my name, I intend on Suing the NFL for Defamation of Character. Then I'll use that money to create my own Professional football league called The Don't Ask, Don't Tell League. That way it will keep me blissfully ignorant to personal matters like race, pronouns, and any other weird shit that could get me into any trouble. I'm not actually aware of the guy that this school is named after, but I imagine he was some sort of  Artist or whatever the hell a Hitler is." 

    Currently the Arians are 0-7 this season, this may be for a lack on athletes in the school because they only enroll students that are blond with blue eyes. Though Gruden still thinks they can make an impossible run into the playoffs with the enrollment of Quarterback Nathan Peterman. I myself didn't think Peterman had any eligibility left but apparently that's not stopping Furer (that's what the Head Coach is called here) Gruden from letting him take snaps in practice. 

    Gruden explained his reasoning behind enrolling Nathan Peterman into the school,

"I don't care if he's good or not, I just love the fuckin guys name, PETE-MAN, gotta love it..... not in a gay way."

    Gruden would not answer any questions about the emails that landed him in trouble. He only firmly told us that, "If I was in a room with Roger Goodell with no one else around, yeah I'd probably kill that cock-sucker". 

    Before leaving the press conference he let us know that he sometimes makes his team get a flag thrown on them on purpose if the referee is a woman so he can, "Watch them bend over and pick it up in front of him". 

Conclusion

    Jon Gruden is not the reason the Bears won last Sunday, stop saying that. They played a real football game, it's not like they threw it on purpose so stop saying that. 

Prediction

    Raiders (14) - Broncos (31)

Haikus of Hate: NFL Kickers Suck

 Kicking is not hard.
A lot of people miss kicks.
How does this happen?

Some think its the wind.

Others think its the crowd noise.

I think they just suck.

Mason Crosby Missed.

He is getting kind of old.

Should probably Quit.

You kick with your foot.

Honestly, is it that hard?

Just kick the damn ball.

I once kicked a ball.

I didn't even practice.

Just figure it out.

What a simple job

Like, for real, just kick the ball.

Who misses a kick?

Is it hard to aim?

Do you think you need glasses?

How do you get paid?

Is it wind to blame?

Did you lie to get the fame?

Maybe stick to punts.

Is the grass too long?

You should buy a lawn mower.

For your next job, bud.

I don't want to hate.

They make it very easy.

You lost us the game.

No one hates punters.

Because they can do their job.

Unlike the kickers.

Jameis got Lasik.

Maybe you should do the same.

It looks like it helps.

Practice makes perfect.

Can't say the same for kickers.

Have you tried stretching? 

Remember Parkey?

Because I drink to forget.

Double Doink Dip Shit.

Always go for it.

Forget about the kickers.

A waste of a drive.

I'm not a kicker.

I'm just a regular guy.

But is it that hard?

Condoms for kickers.

Kicking is an STD.

I wish it was gone.