The Associated Press is a Bunch of Cocks: #6 Michigan vs. #8? Michigan State

    

    I'm angry. Why am I angry? Because the Associated Press ruined one of the best jokes I've ever come up with. This week is rivalry week between Michigan and Michigan State. Tensions are high and records are on the line as both teams come into this game 7-0. The coming schedules are going to be difficult for both teams, so a win this week will mean a lot toward the end of the season. 

So here's how my joke this whole week was going to go:

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is undefeated Michigan State." 

    Get it? Because I (like many others) thought since #7 Penn State and #8 Oklahoma State lost, Michigan State would naturally move up to the #7 spot. Thus solidifying my joke. But noooooo, for some reason the AP moved Oregon who barely won against an unranked UCLA up from #10 all the way past MSU to the #7 spot. Fuck those guys. I'm convinced that the Associated Press is full of a bunch of dipshit payed off lobbyist who want to piss me off. 

    I somehow want to blame Joe Biden for this, but I'm not sure how I can make it his fault yet. Anyway...... this should be a great weekend of football. The last time Michigan and Michigan State played each other while both being ranked in the top 10 was 1964. Huge implications for this game as both teams are eyeing a shot at the Big 10 championship, a longshot for each but definitely possible. 16-9

    Fun fact for this weekend. Michigan state is 16-9 when ranked in the top 25 going into this game against Michigan. 10-2 when going into this game ranked in the top 10. I'm not a gambling man (at least not a good one) but I was I'd put my money on MSU pulling this one off, especially with home field advantage. 

    Don't get me wrong, Michigan is looking really good lately. Their defense is sound and their offense can put up some points. I still don't know what to think of Harbaugh, and I honestly don't think anyone else does either. And after watching freshman backup QB J.J McCarthy's mobility last Saturday against Northwestern, I believe that Michigan may get to a Championship caliber within the next three years. But not this year. This year belongs to Heisman hopeful Kenneth Walker III and the rest of the Spartans squad. 

Recap

    Fuck the Associated Press, they can lick my taint. Bet on Sparty to take the dub. Also the Paul Bunyan Trophy is too small, the trophy should be the statue that's up in Ossineke, MI. It's over 25ft tall and weighs 11.5 tons. Now that's a trophy.

Projection

Spartans - 27

Wolverines- 21

Professional Life Swap: Athletes Switching Jobs/Homes with Average Joes For a Week

 

   I've got this ideas brewing that I believe could make millions of dollars. Have professional athletes switch lives with some regular old people for a single week and film the entire thing. It would be the same premise as Wife Swap, but better. 

    You obviously couldn't do this during the actual sports season, but even the offseason training regimens would make this TV/Streaming Service Gold. It would be great to see both sides of these stories and the actual interactions that could come out of it. The average Joe could get some prize money of $10K or some shit and the professional athlete could donate money to a charity of his/her choice. 

    Imagine this as an episode concept. Take Aaron Donald (Defensive Tackle for the LA Rams) and switch his life with a factory worker in the middle of Ohio. Make the completely average to below average dude have to go to the Rams facility and do all of Donald's workouts and live in his house for a week. The guy would probably have the time of his life meeting a bunch of Professional Athletes and hanging out in California. While at the same time, make Aaron Donald go to Ohio for a week and work 12 hour shifts while living in a two bedroom apartment on the 3rd floor with no elevator. 

    The whole underlining theme of each episode would be how good some people have it or how some people are happy with the small things in life, some stupid shit like that. I just think it would be funny having some factory supervisor try to tell Aaron Donald what to do for a whole day. Actually now that I'm thinking about it, the show should donate $100,000 to a charity if the Athlete stays for the whole duration. It's a win win scenario for everyone. the Athlete has to live and work a regular life for a week, or some kid in Africa starves. This will give the Athlete a reason to stay or else he/she looks like an Asshole. 

    You know who should fund this? Roger (non-football Pussy) Goodell. Instead of offering out fines during the season for whatever the fuck, he could instead have the players opt to do this TV show as a community reach out service to show how caring the NFL is. Ray Rice would still be playing in the NFL if this would have been an option. Ndamukong Suh would be a series regular. Michael Vick could be the host of the show.

Conclusion

    Make Professional Athletes swap lives with regular people for a week for charity. Film it so I can watch Richard Sherman wash dishes in a McDonalds while some random Joe is living in his house picking Sixes at the bar and sleeping in his bed. 

Projection

Matt Stafford (48) - Jared Goff (10)

 

Cleveland Browns Lose Starting Kicker: Kareem Hunt

    The Cleveland Brown are currently standing in shit water. With Nick Chubb being out for a calf injury, The Browns were relying on former Chiefs Kicker, Kareem Hunt, to take the majority of the snaps until Chubb was able to return at full health. Unfortunately Hunt himself suffered a calf injury in the 37-14 lose to the undefeated Arizona Cardinals. 

    If Chubb isn't healthy by this Thursday the Browns will be forced to use both Demetric Felton and D'Ernest Johnson to split carries in a matchup against The Denver Broncos. The Broncos have currently let up 705 rushing yards in six games, so this is one matchup where you can easily take control of the rushing game if you have the guys to do it. 

    The Browns NEED the run game this week, especially with the unknown condition of Baker Mayfield who we are still waiting to hear the 2nd review of his MRI results on his non-throwing shoulder. If he doesn't play then it will be Case Keenum coming to the rescue to secure the win. I still think the Browns have the advantage but it should stay a close game. 

    

    Projection

Browns (20) - Broncos (17) 

Jameis Winston is Brett Farve in Hiding

    The year is 2010, Obama is President of the United States and Brett Farve is the starting QB for the Minnesota Vikings. December 20th of that same year, Brett Farve leaves his final game after suffering a concussion against the Chicago Bears. That following January he filled his retirement papers with the NFL, fully realizing the end of his NFL career......... or so we thought. 

    Flash forward two years. Farve is now healthy again and becoming bored with his life outside of football. He starts to devise a plan to make himself look young and athletic again as he's coming into the best shape of his life after recovering from all the physical torment from a years of being the "tough guy" on the field. This is when Farve decides to create an alter ego so he can regain NCAA eligibility, that alter ego is Jameis Winston. He joined Florida State as a Red Shirt Freshman. Eventually winning a Heisman and a National Championship, proving to himself that the old sack of potatoes has still got it. He then got drafted into the NFL with the rest being history.

    The only reason that no one has figured it out yet is the obvious physical differences between the two; Brett Farve is an old out of shape white guy, and Jameis is a young athletic black man. There's no way anyone would put two and two together, until I started investigating. 

Evidence

• Has anyone ever seen them in the same room together? Probably not. 

• They both were deemed to be the "funny guys" on their football teams, always making jokes.

• They've both played on multiple football teams 

• They're both first ballot Hall of Famers

• And lastly, they play the exact same style of football. Strong Arms and Interceptions. 

    Think about it, Brett Farve was know as the hard throwing guy who passed for multiple touchdowns, but he also threw a shit ton of interceptions. Sounds shockingly familiar to a QB who is constantly doing the same thing every week, Jameis Winston. Remember when Winston got Lasik surgery during the off season? I bet he (Farve) in his old age has been loosing his eye sight and decided he needed the surgery to stay competitive. 

Recap

    Brett Farve is still playing in the NFL under his alter ego Jameis Winston. He has broken NCAA eligibility rules by now playing for Southern Mississippi and now Florida State without notifying The NCAA of his transfer. He's essentially Batman, except instead of being a billionaire he owes $1.1 million to the State of Mississippi for fraudulent welfare funds. 

Projection

Saints (21) - Seahawks (24)

The NFL is garbage: Thursday Night Football

 

    Nothing to see here, just a normal interaction between a Referee and two players during a live play. This may be one of the most ridiculous things I've every seen in a Football game to be honest. I'm not sure how to even joke about this because this is honestly a giant issue that we can't overlook. 

    To recap, Tom Brady just threw an interception and Derek Barnett being the team player he is goes on the offensive and blocks the first guy he sees (Tom Brady). The Ref must have thought he blocking was a little aggressive, but not aggressive enough to throw a flag. Instead he throws himself in the middle of the two players during a LIVE PLAY. This is an obvious case of favoritism going on here and I think it's bullshit. 

    I'm not advocating as a fan for either team because I couldn't care less who won the fucking game. But the results of the game are supposed to be decided by skill, strategy, and luck. Not by favoritism and obvious collusion. In the greater scheme of things this interaction meant absolutely nothing to the play at hand; but if they favor QBs like this, then what else do they favor during play right?

    It's to the point that you can really believe what's going on during the game is actually a fair judgement. Roger Goodell (Anti-Football Bitch) has turned this league into something that's hard to really enjoy watching anymore. I love football but it's getting to be too much for me. I'm not saying I'm at the breaking point yet, but we all as a fanbase have to stand together and let them know that they can't let this shit go on anymore. 

    I don't know why they're so obsessed with keeping Brady healthy anymore. He is without a doubt in my mind the most successful football player of all time, but just let him go. Let him get hit and injured like every other player so we can stop having these discussions. It's an unfortunate but realistic part of the game. 

Conclusion

    I don't think this is Tom Brady's fault. I believe that the NFL thinks that he still brings in viewers and fills seats, so this is their way of greedily milking him for all the money they can make off of him. 

Say Something Nice

    That Referee has got some balls to throw himself in the middle like that. 

The London Games: Does the NFL hate England?

 

   New York Jets, Atlanta Falcons, Miami Dolphins, and the Jacksonville Jaguars. These are the four teams that were decided to represent our country to play two games in London this year. The combined total record for those four teams are 4-16. So we have to ask the question, does the NFL hate the country of England?

    The answer should not shock you, Yes. I believe that Roger Goodell (anti-"American" football pussy) is purposefully punishing the entire country of England for not fully embracing American Football yet. We all know great things come when Roger Goodell starts punishing people for his own made up rules. Spy-gate, Deflate-gate, Ray Rice, etc. 

    The thing about it is............ I don't think England knows they're being punished. Think about it, we send a bunch of shitty football teams to play each other so the matchup probably looks pretty good to someone who knows nothing about Futbal Americano. Even the low scores can't really surprise them, they watch soccer (other football) for Christ sake. They probably see a score of 14-17 and think it's the craziest thing they've ever watched. Have you ever actually watched soccer? No? Me either. I tried to watch a girls High School match one time and I think I left at the half to go back road drinking with my friends. 

    If the Brits had any knowledge of actual Football teams, they would know that they're getting fucked over big time. If the NFL really wanted to gain more attention over the pond they would send teams and players that everyone around the world knows like Tom Brady and Tom Brady? Whatever, the point is that this is the only "real world" exposure that the NFL gets besides Mexico City which I'll agree is probably not healthy for anyone involved. 

Conclusion

    The NFL absolutely hates England. Roger Goodell (anti-football pussy) doesn't want to grown the game. Soccer is so boring that it makes even the shittiest football games look phenomenal. God Save the Queen. 

Projection

Dolphins: 12  

Jaguars: 2 

Divorce in Detroit: Why The Lions Should Move to St. Louis

    

    The City of St. Louis Missouri and the NFL are in the middle of a lawsuit involving the NFL's unfair relocation of the Rams and it's affect on the City and fans. That's all I care about talking about that because its a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo that I literally don't understand. What I do understand is a way that the NFL can make everyone involved happy and regain their market in St. Louis. Move the Detroit Lions to St. Louis. There is already talks of maybe creating an expansion team for St. Louis, so why not just make Martha Ford and all the other dipshits that rule over the Lions pack their bags and get the hell out of Dodge?

    I believe that Lions fans have had enough of this team so its a win win either way. I believe this could open opportunities for both the City of Detroit and for the Lions. With the talk of an expansion team being a possibility, why not bring one to Detroit? I can almost guarantee that Detroit fans would come around to it within two to three years. Mostly because most Lions fans can't stand the Fords, and I don't blame them. They're as cheap as their F-150s and their quality is shit. 

    

    You may ask "Who has enough money to create a new NFL franchise?" One answer, Jeff "supervillain" Besos. He would have an opportunity to finally own his own NFL team and do with it what he pleases. He has more money than 99% of the world combined, imagine the type of talent he could bring?!?!?! (minus cap space issues). Detroit deserves much better than what the Fords have given them. 

    Who even cares what the team's name is at that point either? He could name them the Detroit "Single Day Delivery" for all I care and Detroit fans would probably be ecstatic. Amazon Stadium, Welcome to the Jungle, shit would be electric. I guarantee the atmosphere there would be insane. Order a beer through amazon and have it delivered by drone. Now that I think about it The Detroit Express would be a way better name.

    The Lions days in Detroit are coming to a close. I'd say it's been a nice run, but we all know that would be a lie. St. Louis could be a fresh start for the Fords. Look at Matt Stafford, guy leaves The Lions and is having an MVP season. Divorce is not the end, but the start of something new. Trust me as a guy who's parents have been through multiple divorces, Christmases just get better and better. 

Conclusion

    The Lions and Detroit need a Divorce, the Love is gone and the kids are all moved out. St. Louis is the Step Dad that Dan Campbell doesn't exactly want but needs, and Jeff Besos can be Detroit's sugar daddy. 

Projection

Detroit (17) - Bengals (21)

    

NotJimBobs's totally opinionated Week 7 College Football Top 10

 Top 10 coming into Week 7

#1: Georgia (6-0)

Most Dominant team on the list by far

#2: Iowa (6-0)

Pulled off a close game against equal Penn State. Defense wins championships. 

#3: Penn State (5-1)

Lost a close game against Iowa, they may have a loss but I believe they're still in contention for spot in the playoffs

#4: Cincinnati (5-0)

Currently the best college football team in the state of Ohio, if they can keep up this level of play. It won't be enough for them to go undefeated as the American Athletic Conference is a cakewalk. They need to dominate. 

#5: Ohio State (5-1)

I hate these guys but they aren't bad. Don't expect a conference championship with their coming schedule.

#6: Alabama (5-1)

I'm so happy they lost. Expect a regression in play. 

#7: Michigan State (6-0)

Defense is definitely a problem, but who cares if Kenneth Walker III can score just as fast. 

#8: Michigan (6-0)

Same old Harbaugh, won't run up the score on anyone ever. Don't expect much. 

#9: Oregon (4-1)

The overtime loss to Stanford was a kick in the nuts, but I'm sure they'll start playing some more convincing games. 

#10: Oklahoma (6-0)

Frauds. 

Jon Gruden Hired as new Head Coach for The Adolf Hitler School of Tolerance and Understanding

    

    After being wrongfully released by the Oakland Raiders on 10/11/21, Jon Gruden has decided to take a step back and finish this fall by accepting a Head Coaching position at The Adolf Hitler School of Tolerance and Understanding, Arians. He will be replacing former Arians Coach, Hans Gruber, who resigned to follow his dreams of Domestic Terrorism. Gruden will only be the 3rd head coach in the history of the school in what seems like a series of crusades for the young football program. 

    When asked why he decided on settling for a high school job Gruden had this to say, 

"This is the only logical path for me heading forward. I need to show everyone that I'm not the racist, sexist, and homophobic man that all these butt-fucks are saying I am. Once I clear my name, I intend on Suing the NFL for Defamation of Character. Then I'll use that money to create my own Professional football league called The Don't Ask, Don't Tell League. That way it will keep me blissfully ignorant to personal matters like race, pronouns, and any other weird shit that could get me into any trouble. I'm not actually aware of the guy that this school is named after, but I imagine he was some sort of  Artist or whatever the hell a Hitler is." 

    Currently the Arians are 0-7 this season, this may be for a lack on athletes in the school because they only enroll students that are blond with blue eyes. Though Gruden still thinks they can make an impossible run into the playoffs with the enrollment of Quarterback Nathan Peterman. I myself didn't think Peterman had any eligibility left but apparently that's not stopping Furer (that's what the Head Coach is called here) Gruden from letting him take snaps in practice. 

    Gruden explained his reasoning behind enrolling Nathan Peterman into the school,

"I don't care if he's good or not, I just love the fuckin guys name, PETE-MAN, gotta love it..... not in a gay way."

    Gruden would not answer any questions about the emails that landed him in trouble. He only firmly told us that, "If I was in a room with Roger Goodell with no one else around, yeah I'd probably kill that cock-sucker". 

    Before leaving the press conference he let us know that he sometimes makes his team get a flag thrown on them on purpose if the referee is a woman so he can, "Watch them bend over and pick it up in front of him". 

Conclusion

    Jon Gruden is not the reason the Bears won last Sunday, stop saying that. They played a real football game, it's not like they threw it on purpose so stop saying that. 

Prediction

    Raiders (14) - Broncos (31)

Haikus of Hate: NFL Kickers Suck

 Kicking is not hard.
A lot of people miss kicks.
How does this happen?

Some think its the wind.

Others think its the crowd noise.

I think they just suck.

Mason Crosby Missed.

He is getting kind of old.

Should probably Quit.

You kick with your foot.

Honestly, is it that hard?

Just kick the damn ball.

I once kicked a ball.

I didn't even practice.

Just figure it out.

What a simple job

Like, for real, just kick the ball.

Who misses a kick?

Is it hard to aim?

Do you think you need glasses?

How do you get paid?

Is it wind to blame?

Did you lie to get the fame?

Maybe stick to punts.

Is the grass too long?

You should buy a lawn mower.

For your next job, bud.

I don't want to hate.

They make it very easy.

You lost us the game.

No one hates punters.

Because they can do their job.

Unlike the kickers.

Jameis got Lasik.

Maybe you should do the same.

It looks like it helps.

Practice makes perfect.

Can't say the same for kickers.

Have you tried stretching? 

Remember Parkey?

Because I drink to forget.

Double Doink Dip Shit.

Always go for it.

Forget about the kickers.

A waste of a drive.

I'm not a kicker.

I'm just a regular guy.

But is it that hard?

Condoms for kickers.

Kicking is an STD.

I wish it was gone.

Chicago Bears: Smartest Franchise of all Time

 

    Many people will argue that the Chicago Bears have made many dumbass decisions in their history as a sports team. Notably when it comes to their decisiveness when choosing head coaches, their inability to keep the top players they draft on their team, and overall the quality of players they draft in the top rounds. Is Patrick Mahomes REALLY that much better than Mitch Trubisky? I don't think the evidence is their to solidify that claim yet. But I believe the Bears have just made up for all this dumbassery by making their smartest trade to date. 

    The Bears just announced a trade yesterday for Jakeem Grant (Wide Receiver) from the Miami Dolphins for an undisclosed draft pick. It has been reported however by Tom Pelissero that the draft pick is a 2023 sixth round pick. Grant is owed $2,000,000 this year and will become a free agent in 2022. At 28 ("29" October 30th) years old his best season was last year when he brought in 36 receptions for 373 yards and 1 touchdown. He has 3 career punt return touchdowns and 2 kick return touchdowns. His biggest downside is his 12 fumbles in his 6 year career. 

    I believe the Bears are geniuses for this move, especially since it dates back all the way to April 15th 2021. The Bears knew this guy would be available, or why else would they not attempt any contract negotiations with Cordarrelle Patterson? They knew that Patterson would be a bust coming into this season I mean c'mon, he's only had 5 total touchdowns in 4 games with a miniscule 235yards receiving and 119 yards rushing. To put it in Fantasy Football terms, he's currently the #2 to #3 running back in the NFL. But the Bears obviously know something we don't know, that's why they let him leave instead of paying him the $3,000,000 he was asking for this season. 

    But why am I comparing a WR to a RB? Well that's because Patterson is pretty much a gadget player and plays both positions when needed. Also, Patterson is what you would call a "return specialist". In 9 seasons he has a total of 8 kick return touchdowns which ties him for the most of all time. He's never really been a punt return guy, but I'm sure he would do it if asked. 

    In my non-professional opinion I firmly believe that Patterson wanted to stay a Chicago Bear and even took to twitter to try to bring others to the team that he didn't realize he wouldn't be a part of. 

Response To Deshawn Watson Trade Demands

Career Stats  

Conclusion

    The Bears organization obviously knows something that no one else knows about hiring players/personnel. It will "definitely" pay off in the future. I see this organization going "far" with its current ownership. Grant at his young age of 28 (29) is a way better deal than old Patterson at the ripe old age of 30.

Say Something Nice

    Just sell the fucking team already. This isn't funny anymore and I'm actually starting to get pissed off. I've defended Matt Nagy and Ryan Pace in the past but it's turned into a total shit show instead of a Championship franchise like we were all promised. I like Justin Fields, but how can he succeed on a team that makes dumbass decisions like this? I'm angry so I won't say anything nice about the Bears today. If they put a roof on the new stadium in Arlington Heights they should remove the GSH from their jerseys. 

Prediction

With Justin Fields: Bears (24) - Raiders (21)

Without Justin Fields: Bears (12) - Raiders (32)

I've Been Digging Though Jared Goff's Trash: Found his Surfboard

  

    After week four of the NFL season, I think it's safe to say that Jared Goff has finally found his inner Lion. After Sundays 14-24 loss to the Chicago Bears Jared Goff said to the media, "Yeah, maybe a pissed-off team will execute a little bit better and that’s me included. How can we be better next week? Maybe getting pissed off will be the answer.” Who gets more pissed off than a member of the Lions organization? Nobody. Goff has finally rejected his old California ways and has accepted the fact that he now lives in Michigan, and must fully embrace his newfound Michigander lifestyle and attitude. 

    I've Been Digging Through Jared Goff's Trash

    After digging though Jared Goff's trash yesterday we found some evidence to confirm this claim. At first sight we found a surfboard laying next to the trashcan which is pretty good evidence that Goff wont need it for the Detroit River. Next we opened up the first trashcan which was full of Tofu and hundreds of pounds of Beyond Burger (vegetarian burger). The smell was disgusting so we played it off as maybe he left his freezer open and thawed all the meat.........which now that I'm writing this sounds ridiculous as its all vegetarian. Does fake meat go bad? Like is there an expiration date? Honestly I don't care, I'm not a soy boy. We also found the keys to his Tesla, still searching the trash for the Tesla. 

    What really convinced my team and myself that Goff had become a full blown Michigander..... were hundreds of receipts to Krogers, Meijers, Walmarts, Northwoods Wholesale Outlet in Pinconning, etc. It's impossible to write down everything that he purchased in the months since arriving in Michigan......but I'll list a few. 

• Snow Blower
• Verners Ginger Ale
• Carhart Jacket
• Pastie Recipe book
• Fresh Water Fishing for dummies
• Tire Repair (pot hole damage)
• Big Boy (Breakfast Buffet/Spaghetti)
• A "My Governors' an Idiot Bumper Sticker"
• Ford F-150 (Basic Package)
• 30 cases of Busch Light (5 cases were the hunters orange cans, not sure why they had that info on the receipt)
• An Only Fans subscription to Brandi Love (Fire up Chips)
• Burn Permit
• 50lbs of Fudge 
• Tree Stand
• Detroit vs Everybody Shirt, Shoes, and Shorts
• Ponderosa (didn't that place close?)
• A 1997 University of Michigan National Champs Sweatshirt (shared with Nebraska)
• A statue of Paul Bunyan 
• 10 cases of Bell's Two Hearted Ale 
• Autographed Al Kaline baseball
• Farmers Almanac 
• Fishing License (way overpriced)
• Season tickets to the Great Lakes Loons
• Pontoon (with Tiki Bar)
• 12 receipts from Eminem's new Mom's Spaghetti restaurant (literally just orders spaghetti)
• 20 cases of Labatts Blue (0-4 must be tough on him)
• Superman Ice-cream
• Bottle Return Receipts 
• Euchre For dummies
• Speeding Ticket ( 32 in a 25)
• Fish Frys (multiple locations, only on Fridays)
• Koegel Red Hots 
• North-Side Winter Jacket
• Apples/Apple Cider
• Luckys Hunting Blind
• Deer Combination License/ Base Tag
• Ice Auger
• I Hate Ohio T-shirt
• etc.

Conclusion

    Goff has been busy. I believe he now has what it takes to take Detroit to five or six (9-8) seasons with Dan Campbell by his side. No boxes were found so we know for a fact that Goff has been saving them for kindling (big Michigan energy).

Prediction

Lions (15) - Vikings (21)

Don't bet the over

Tampa Bay 44 - New England 23 : Tompa Brady vs Big Mac Jones

    

    Sunday Night we get to see the game of the decade when Tom "Kiss His Dad" Brady returns to Foxborough for the first time since he and The Patriots parted ways in a devastating breakup. Brady pretty much had two hall of fame careers with the New England and is currently in the process of building a third with Tampa. No shit ("cap" for the younger folks), Brady probably deserves to have three Busts of himself in the Pro Football Hall of Fame when he retires, one for each decade. 

    Fun Fact, this game actually marks the biggest age gap between two starting QBs that have ever played each other (21 years). Think about that, Brady had already won a National Championship with Michigan (backup QB) before Jones was even born. But as Tom Brady has said "Age is just a number, I'll kiss whomever I want". 

    

    There is a lot of publicity going around about Tom and Bill Belichick feuding with each other and I honestly am calling bullshit on it. It's all just for views and clicks, at the end of the day Bill will probably be the one who gives Tom's Hall of Fame induction speech in what the press will call a "reconciliation" or something stupid like that. 

    Should be a high scoring game, I'm pretty sure Tom doesn't need to watch film to figure out what Belichick is up to. Likewise, the Bucs have been letting up a crazy amount of points for a defense that helped carry the team to a Superbowl last year. Also Gronk is returning to face the Patriots for the first time, this game will likely have at least 18-20 comparison pictures of the two as teammates with the Pats compared to the Bucs.

Prediction:

Tampa Bay (44) - New England (23) because why the hell not?

Say Something Nice

    Tampa just picked up former Pro Bowl Corner Richard Sherman from Free Agency. I hope they get a tax break for helping the needy.

Ford Field: Whose Stupid Idea was this?

    

    What do you think of when you think of when you hear the words NFC NORTH? Most people probably start thinking things like a dumpster, landfill, septic tank, Asbestos, or Aaron Rodgers. The NFC NORTH is weird man, some years they open up the season looking like they're indestructible and others....... the opposite. It's been years of inconsistency that have driven fans crazy and honestly...... I love it. When I hear NFC NORTH, I think of Grit. This is the division that plays real football, not like those flimsy warm weather teams. During the beginning of the season some teams may stand a chance playing teams like the Packers and Bears (not Vikings) at home, but once the snow falls its a whole different ball game. That's when the Real Grit comes into play. Does a team like the Dolphins really want to come into Soldier or Lambo field in December and play in a game when the temperature is 20F? NOT A CHANCE. These open stadiums create an atmosphere and advantage like no other. Makes for AMAZING, GRITTY, NFC NORTH FOOTBALL. 

    So tell me this WHY THE FUCK DO THE LIONS PLAY IN AN ENCLOSED STADIUM? You know who designed Ford Field? Obviously someone who didn't know shit about NFC NORTH FOOTBALL. They probably thought to themselves "Well we played in a dome for this long, might as well build an enclosed building to give us zero home field advantage durrrrrrrrrrrr". Don't get me wrong, Lions fans have a special place in their heart for The Pontiac Silverdome, but in 26 years at the Silver Dome the lions totaled 8 winning seasons. Let me repeat, EIGHT SEASONS OUT OF TWENTY-SIX THAT THEY WEREN'T COMPLETE TRASH. Why try to recreate that when you could have started something new? The Lions should have 100% built an open stadium, the home field advantage alone would have been worth the money and saved so much heartache. 

    I make this same argument to Lions fans every year, but this year it hurt them more than usual. Last week we saw the Hall of Fame leg of Justin Tucker send a football 66 yards though the air to doink its way though the uprights and win Baltimore the game. This is one of many Lion's losses that could have been avoided if they didn't play in Fucking Enclosed Stadium.

    

Fun Weather Facts for Detroit 9/26/2021 (Day of Loss to Baltimore)

    The Wind was blowing between 9-12mph coming from the South-South West. At the same time, Justin Tucker was performing his Record Breaking kick toward the Lions East End Zone. With that kind of wind Tucker's accuracy would have been reduced as the 9-12mph winds would have pushed the ball to his left, reducing his chances of kicking the field goal immensely. The Ravens honestly probably wouldn't have even tried the field goal at that point. 

    Think of all the times the times the Lions lost games because the conditions in Ford Field are too perfect, I wont even list them as it just makes me even more angry. 

Letter to Dan Campbell 

    Coach, if you read this I want to let you know that you are the only person who has the GRIT to do this. To save you job and the future of the Detroit Lions, you need to personally cut off the roof of Ford Field. That would be the GRITIEST move a Lions coach could ever make and would probably land you in the NFC Championship within Two to Three years tops. 

Say Something Nice

Watching the Lions is a Thanksgiving tradition.

NFL Minor league 2022: AAA Football

    

   

     There is one thing you will always get me to agree with which is that there is always more room for football. Not saying there isn't a lot of football games, but they all happen at the same time. That's why I've been such a supporter of the XFL, USFL, AAF, and other leagues that try to add more football into the year. Unfortunately, the NFL holds a Monopoly over American Football and any attempts at new leagues end up failing almost right from the start. Ratings usually start dropping and the leagues just don't make the income to support their organization and players. NFL fans already have their favorite teams and seem to giving any more attention to another sports club, which can be disappointing for some players who just haven't developed enough in college or those who want a second chance to play. How could we make this happen? NFL Minor League Football. 

    Why try to fight it, when you can join it? The NFL and it's teams have the money, facilities, and fans to make this happen; so why not? I'm not even talking a game every week. Imagine just once every two weeks have your rookies, practice squad members, free agents, or whomever is looking for a chance to compete and play some football on a competitive level before training camp or the regular season starts. You could just make the season June through July for all I care, I just think it would be a cool way to watch some football. Hell, you could even replace the whole pre-season and just do this instead (maybe). 

    I'm not talking using established NFL team names and mascots either, I'm saying they should establish affiliate teams directly correlated with an established franchise. Imagine a team like The Miami Dolphins; lets say they draft a 5th round Corner Back from a FCS school and want to see how he will transition from college to the Pro level. So after you draft him, you could sign him under the stipulation that he will have to be a member of the Miami Flippers (great name) until training camp begins. That way the coaches can see how he matches up to seasoned NFL practice squad players, other rookies, and undrafted players. At the same time, you broadcast and even sell tickets to all these games so fans can watch their Franchise's future prospects or maybe even some practice squad fan favorites earn their spot in the league. We do it with The MLB, why not the NFL?

    The players in the league don't have to be temporary either. Maybe you have some guys that just can't quite cut it at the top level so they just bounce around the minors until they're ready to call it a career. It's too late now, but imagine how great Tim Tebow could have been in this league instead of playing minor league baseball? I honestly could name five or more Rookie Quarterbacks this year that could have benefitted from getting some minor league snaps before taking over a Franchise as a whole. 

List of what I believe could possibly be great NFL-AAA team names:

-New England (Musketeers)

-Atlanta (Firebirds)

-New York (Cyclops/Warthogs)

-Buffalo (Oakleys)

-Detroit (Ligers)

-San Francisco (Gold)

-Seattle (Seagulls) 

-LA (Kids/Thunder)

-Las Vegas (Gamblers)

-Arizona (Sand)

-Dallas (Lone Stars)

-Denver (Stampede) 

-Houston (Republics)

-New Orleans (Prayer)

-Pittsburg (Metal)

-Philadelphia (Birds)

-Chicago (Sun Bears)

-Green Bay (Fudge Packers)

-Cleveland (Orange)

-Cincinnati (Stripes)

-Minnesota (Pillagers)

-Washington (Minor League Football Team)

-Tampa Bay (Skippers)

-Carolina (Cats)

-Kansas City (Corporals)

-Baltimore (Crows)

-Miami (Flippers)

-Indianapolis (Horse Shoes)

-Jacksonville (Fangs)

-Tennessee (Oilers) 

  

    

How Are These Teams in 1st Place?

 

It's the end of week 3 and the NFL is in total chaos. We have teams like the chiefs that were talking all off- season about being the first group to go 17-0 in the Regular season after adding an additional game. Now they are 1-2 three games into the year... karma can be a real a bitch. The Steelers, who started off last year 11-0 find themselves under .500 and seeing that Big Ben can barely walk around in the pocket without falling, I'm not even surprised to see them struggle to start the year. But the real shocker this year is the teams that ARE playing well and currently lead their divisions. 

AFC West: 

Like I said, the Chiefs are having a Super Bowl hangover from hell, but nobody thought that this division was up for grabs. The Broncos and the Raiders are both 3-0 and look like actual football teams (in comparison to their years past at least). This is even crazier when you think about how the Broncos didn't know who their starting QB was until 2 weeks before the season and now Teddy Bridgewater looks like Jesus on the football field! The Raiders meanwhile have a sweet new stadium that I think puts all other teams in awe. When you think about this division though, just remember that Patrick Mahomes AND Justin Herbert were both in the top 5 for MVP odds. Neither of them have been as successful as Teddy Bridgewater (who is now on his 5th team in 7 years) or Derek Carr (who looks like he’s about to commit a murder).

AFC North: 

TECHNICALLY the NFL has the Bengals listed as 1st place in their division but for them to even be tied with the likes of the Ravens and the Browns, who are two of the favorites in the AFC this year, is pretty Amazing. While I expect the Browns to win the division and make a deep run in the playoffs, the Bengals are... somehow... sticking around? Even if previous articles say they suck (which they still do in my opinion) this team has to be given SOME credit. So here it is: congrats on being the best Ohio team for the time being.

NFC South: 

Raise your hand if you thought the Panthers would be in 1st place over the Reigning Champion Buccaneers, always reliable Saints, and even the Falcons. If you're raising your hand then shut the fuck up and put it back down. Outside of Christian McCaffrey this team was nothing coming into the year. coming off signing Sam fucking Darnold who was one of the least productive 1st round QB's in recent memory everybody was thinking that they were going to simply tank or drown in a still overly competitive division. Well, now Sammy boy is balling out averaging almost 300 yards and a combined 2 TD's per game while limiting his turnovers. Meanwhile Tom Brady just got outplayed by soon to be named MVP Matthew Stafford (love you Matthew)

Overall this season has been a crapshoot for a lot of the better teams in the league. I'm personally hoping that these teams can turn it around because I may or may not have placed a ton of bets for division winners at the start of the year that aren't looking so hot right about now. 

Rookie Mistakes: From QB1 to QBdone

     This is the first week this year that we saw five teams starting their rookie QBs. It may be way too early to assess this, but none of these QBs should probably be starting in the NFL. It's not their faults either, you have these coaches out there that all think they drafted the next best thing and try to rush these "delusions of grandeur" (Star Wars Reference) into their minds that not only should they automatically have a starting job, but that they should be good at it. 

Below I have included the seasonal stats of all Rookie QBs who started week 3 

Trevor Lawrence: 5-TD passing, 6-INT, 54.24% passing, 669yds, 0-TD Rushing, 2 fumbles, 3 starts, 3 total games

Zach Wilson: 2-TD passing,  7-INT, 55.24% passing, 628yds, 0-TD Rushing, 1 fumble, 3 starts, 3 total games

Justin Fields: 0-TD passing, 1-TD Rushing, 1-INT, 40% passing, 138yds, 1-TD Rushing, 1 fumble, 1 start, 3 total games

Mac Jones: 2-TD passing, , 3-INT, 67.5% passing, 737yds, 0-TD Rushing, 2 fumbles, 3 starts, 3 total games

Davis Mills: 2-TD passing,  1-INT, 58.7% passing, 270yds, 0-TD Rushing, 1 fumble, 1 start, 2 total games

Numbers and figures sourced from nfl.com

    Yeah, it's not looking too good for them right now. The Jaguars should have kept Gardner Minshew and let Trevor Lawrence learn behind an "interesting" but seasoned QB. Also calling "BUST" on Lawrence, I think he'll fade out in 3-4 years. The Jets are trash and I honestly was going to start trashing Adam Gase until I realized he got fired after last season lol; the Jets came into this season with 3 QBs on the roster that had zero NFL starts between any of them so what the hell did you expect from "SUPER BUST" Zach Wilson? The Bears put up the lowest amount of passing yards from any team in the last century against the Browns. The cameras caught Nick Foles on the sideline telling and injured Andy Dalton that "Matt's offense just isn't working", I would love to be in that QB room this week...."NOT"   -Wayne's World. It doesn't matter who you put in Nagy's offense whether it's Trubisky, Fields, Dalton, or even Jesus Christ; 90% they will look like shit; calling "BUST" on Nagy. Mac Jones has seasoned athletes and coaches around him, but he actually may just be making rookie mistakes; probably won't be great by any means but I won't put the "BUST" label on him just yet. Last but probably least comes the Texans who had Davis Mills take the start because of an injury and multiple sexual assaults' (allegedly). Honestly not much the Texans could have done about that, but they should probably just forfeit the rest of the season and come back next year. Can't put the "BUST" label on Mills because he's exactly who we though he is. 

TLDR:

NFL teams should not start Rookie QBs, it won't help them progress and makes the Head Coach look like a dumbass. 

Prediction:

Chicago Bears (1-16)

    

Another Shit Primetime Game

         

Here we have the last two # 1 overall picks that are supposed to be saviors to their franchise. What they have been to start the year has been absolute dog shit.

 Lets start with Joe Burrow, This guy had allegedly the best College football season of all time in 2019 and was supposed to instantly turn the Bengals fortunes around. All he did was break his fucking leg halfway through the year leading the Bengals to another high draft pick that they can take to pick a Generational Lineman to protect his blindside, ya know the reason he broke his leg? But no they decided to take his old drinking buddy Ja'Mar Chase from LSU instead so when the team sucks again they can at least suck together. 

Next we have Trevor Lawrence the guy who never lost a regular season game in his football career leading up to the NFL. He is the best QB prospect since Manning (Peyton not this idiot that beat Tom Brady in the Super Bowl Twice), and what does he do to start his NFL career? Loses to the fucking Texans... name more than 5 players on their team I bet you can't. He follows up this performance by throwing for a grand total of.... 118 yards - a single touchdown - 2 interceptions. 

When he was in college ESPN would jizz all over themselves every time he threw the ball to another 5-star recruit who did all the work to score a TD against a team like Wake Forest. He had an average QB rating of 164.5 during college (dont ask me how the fuck you can play better than 100) now in the NFL over the course of these two starts he has a QB rating of 57.1. His rating is worse than literally everybody except Zach Wilson this year, who just threw 4 interceptions last week... and also sucks. 

Both these dudes are terrible and their teams are even worse. and if the NFL thinks that this is worthy of a fucking primetime game then give me a job, I can throw shit at a wall and get it to stick too. 

Prediction: Bengals beat Jaguars 27 -17 and both QB's throw at least 2 more interceptions. 

Hidden Valley Ranch: Crime Syndicate

    

    This is the article that may get me killed so be cautious who this information gets shared with. I have mind blowing theory about hidden valley and all other condiment manufacturers and distributers that not only would change the way we think about food packaging, but life as a whole. 

    

    I came up with this theory back in college after I microwaved some frozen chicken strips for dinner. I had the chicken strips on the plate in front of me and I grabbed a bottle of ranch to add a little mid-west jazz to flavor it up. When I popped off the cap and squeezed the bottle to give myself a generous (but nothing over the top) amount of ranch to dip in, I found that half of the ranch bottle had just poured out all over my plate and ruined the chicken to ranch ratio that I have developed over the years. The cause? A lack of a bottle nipple that is usually under the cap. 

    

    THIS FUCKING BOTTLE NIPPLE HAS BEEN THE BANE OF MY EXISTANCE FOR YEARS NOW. I'VE WASTED SO MUCH FUCKING CONDIMENTS, LIKE SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE ACTUALL FUCK. 

    So when I started thinking about it, I began to remember how often this has happened to me. Ask yourself how many times have you made a salad, decided to add ranch or caesar dressing and then literally ruined it with half a bottle of bullshit because of this missing nipple? And don't give me that bullshit of "Well don't buy the bottle with the wide mouth then", YOU FIND ME A NORMAL BOTTLE THAT SAYS WIDE MOUTH, I FUCKING DARE YOU. THEIR IS ZERO/NADA INDICATION ON THE AVERAGE BOTTLE THAT TELLS YOU WHETHER OR NOT IT HAS A NIPPLE OR NOT. 

    

    Before my day of epiphany, I would just excuse it as lack of a functioning quality department. Like there was no way they were actually checking every bottle they sold or none of this would be an issue. But then I started thinking....... What.......if.......... they didn't check on purpose? What if they decided that not checking for a lack of this little piece of plastic could actually make them millions in the long run? My theory is that they 100% know about this issue and do nothing about it because THEY WANT YOU TO WASTE RANCH!! It makes perfect sense! They sell you a non-conforming bottle of ranch for $2-$5, you waste half of it in one use, you run out of your favorite dipping sauce faster, and then you finally have to go back to the store to spend more money than you should have in the first place. It may not be illegal, but it's deceiving the customers into purchasing more which might as well be stealing. 

Conclusion:

- Big Condiment is stealing your hard earned money

- Hidden Valley wont answer any of my emails 

- #InspectTheNipple  

Now Say Something Nice:

-Ranch is great on pizza

FRAUD ALERT: #4 Oklahoma Sooners

     

    The Sooners have started the season (3-0) and are currently in the College Football Playoff conversation. This statement could have been true four weeks ago but is fucking ridiculous to hear coming into the game against West Virginia today. Not only do I think the Mountaineers are going to win this game, I think that they will win convincingly. Let me start proving my point.

The Sooners last 3 games and their outcomes:

-Oklahoma (40) - Tulane (35)

    Tulane attempts to make a 4th quarter comeback but falls short. Should have never been that close to begin with

-Oklahoma (76) - Western Carolina  (0)

    Varsity vs Junior Varsity, not much else to say

-Oklahoma (23) - Nebraska (16)

    This is the game that really convinced me of Oklahoma's fraud status. To be fair, I really don't think Nebraska is a bad team and I am glad that they are starting to look competitive again...but come the fuck on. You cant win a game against a 2-2 team like this and consider yourself to be even close to the top of the rankings. 

In conclusion:

    Don't take this the wrong way, I'm don't think I'm hating on Oklahoma by any means, I'm just speaking the truth. Oklahoma "on paper" has as much skill as any top program in the country. I still can't rule out on Spencer Rattler making a case as a Heisman candidate, but there are just some guys playing on a different level than him and the Sooners are right now. The only thing that will convince me this weekend that the Sooners should be taken seriously for playoff contention is if Nebraska beats Michigan State CONVINCINGLY. I'm not talking about a three to ten point point spread, I'm talking major blowout to take the Spartans off their current pedestal. Nebraska has to prove something to justify Oklahoma being ranked anything higher than #10 at this point.

Prediction:

West Virginia (34) - Oklahoma (18)

Now Say Something Nice:

    I've got a phrase that a use all the time that I'm going to start adding every time a say some shitty things about anything, "Now Say Something Nice". So to say something nice about Oklahoma, D.J Graham made was of the most ridiculous interceptions I've ever seen. Forget athletic ability, that was god switching his team to Rookie difficulty in Madden for one play. 

Ferris State Bulldogs: The most Underrated Football Program in America

   

    If you are as big of a fan as DII football as I am then you're going to love this article, if not.... whatever. Ferris State University is a school located in Big Rapids Michigan. Somewhere around 14,000 students are enrolled every year in a city with a population of just over 10,000. Very small town rural feel while still being a great college to earn a degree at during the week and party on the weekends and to be honest most week days. But I'm not here to talk about campus life, I'm here to talk Football. 

    The last 10 years of Bulldog Football have been nothing short of phenomenal. The Bulldogs ended their 2011 season 6-5 barely going over .500 and not looking too impressive. Then came the addition of Head Coach Tony Annese in 2012 whose dynamic coaching and recruiting abilities has lead Ferris to currently be a Division II powerhouse. His first season with the Bulldogs resulted in a 7-4 record and a ranking of one of the top offenses in the country. The years following resulted in domination over the GLIAC (Great Lakes Intercollegiate Athletic Conference) with four conference championships between 2014 and 2019. Although each year the Bulldogs did fall short of a deep playoff run, until the 2018 season. In 2018 the Bulldogs made a run all the way into the Nation Championship where they unfortunately fell short to Valdosta State by a score of 49-47 and a final record of 15-1. 

    Notable former players currently in the NFL include: Tavierre Thomas-CB Cleveland Browns, Zach Sieler-DT Miami Dolphins, Malik Taylor-WR Green Bay Packers, and Justin Zimmer-DT Buffalo Bills. The Harlon Hill Trophy is given each year to the MVP in Division II football, pretty much the DII equivalent to the Heisman. If you want solid proof of its prestige, former NFL great Danny Woodhead won the award in 2006 and 2007. The bulldogs have had two Harlon Hill Trophy winners in the last seven years: Jason Vander laan (won in 2014 and 2015 as QB), and Jayru Campbell (won in 2018 as QB). 

    After taking a year off for COVID-19 reasons, the Bulldogs are back and just as good as ever. Currently lead by former Maryland Lacrosse great turned QB, Jared Bernhardt. Some say he is the best college athlete in the country, I say he's got some big shoes to fill to be regarded as a great BULLDOG QB. #2 Ranked Ferris State will be going into their Homecoming game this Saturday currently (3-0) to take on the Davenport University Panthers (1-2).

Prediction: Ferris 48 - Davenport 6

GO DAWGS!

Christian Mccaffrey Is Exactly Why You Didn't Want To Have The #1 Pick In Fantasy Football

    

Week 3 vs the Houston Texans: Christian Mccaffrey walked into the locker room after sustaining a hamstring injury after rushing 7 times for 31 yards and pulling in two receptions for a mere 9 yards. It is currently unknown how serious of an injury it is.

    I'm honestly so happy I didn't have the first pick in my fantasy league this year. I (unfortunately) saw this coming a mile away after last year. We all know he is one of the best RBs currently in the league and is a Fantasy Football machine. His stats two years ago during his 1000yd rushing and 1000yd receiving season were unreal. But, I knew this year would probably be different. Now he's injured and 8% to 10% of fantasy football managers are angry, but it's their fault for having the #1 pick. Shit happens and I'm very happy I drafted #10...... even though I'm currently 0-2 going into this week.

    Recap: I'm bad at Fantasy Football, but not as bad as everyone who drafted Christian Mccaffrey. Especially anyone who just recently texted me that they couldn't wait for him to average over 20pts per game a few hours before the injury. 

Kissing Children and Gut Health: A Tom Brady Story

   

This might be a crazy theory, but it kind of makes sense. Tom Brady as we all know is one of the greatest QBs of all time and has had the most successful career of any football player ever, I will not contest that nor will I address it again but..... how the hell is he still playing football? He has literally been in the league and had so much success that he could be inducted into the Hall of Fame from a careers in two separate decades, let alone whatever is coming out of a third. No person no matter how well they take care of their bodies or how fit they are should be able to sustain a career in the NFL that long. So the question becomes.....how? 

    The first possibility could be Brady's lifestyle changes throughout the years and how he created the TB12 method of hating what you eat everyday. Really Tom, no strawberries? But that answer seems too simple and unlikely, given how so many players have created their own fad diets only to still burn out when god intended them to. The second possibility could be how Brady has changed his own playstyle through the years to reduce injury and stress on his body. But, as I said, many have tried before Tom and had to succumb to father time when the time was right. 

    So how does Tom do it? The answer is Gut Health. Not to get too in depth with how it works but the gut is full of bacteria called microbiome that help break down the food in your body. There are basically two types of microbiome basically, good & bad. When the good microbiome outnumbers the bad it creates a state of equilibrium in your body that is beneficial for your stomach, intestine, heart, liver, brain, etc. This means that the more good you have the healthier and "younger" you will feel and the opposite goes for the bad. 

    It's scientifically proven that children have more good microbiome and better gut health than adults (you can see where I'm going with this). There is also a procedure where a doctor can take a sample of a healthy microbiome (poop milkshake) and transfer it to a person with an unhealthy microbiome (insert it up the butt). Where am I going with this? There is a good chance that microbiome also live inside your the mouth as it is technically connected to the stomach. So when Tom Brady kisses his kids (probably ten or more times per day) they are transferring him their good microbiome thus, keeping him in TB12 shape forever. Or at least until they all grow up and he runs out of his supply. 

Recap: Tom Brady + Kissing Kids = Healthy Gut

Rams 32 - Buccaneers 28

    

 

Matt Nagy Was Right: Red Rocket Ready

    

A few weeks ago you couldn't even name a handful of people who thought Matt Nagy was making the right move. I mean honestly, he wouldn't even let Justin Fields compete for the starting spot let alone name him the starter. It seemed like a dumb move on his part: job on the line, sub-par offense, questionable play calling. Why wouldn't he give his team the best possible option to compete? Well.... he actually did. 

    As we all know, Andy Dalton is not the greatest QB in the league and even I thought the Bears made a mistake in being the landing strip the Red Rockets touched down on. But damn, he really hasn't looked THAT bad (relative to Bears QB play). He moved around the pocket very well and was making plays. Nagy new what he had and has been trying to game plan around Dalton being the starting QB for months. I don't know about you guys, but I really don't think being a Head Coach in the NFL is that easy. He is constantly under extreme pressure from management and fans alike, and I just don't think he wanted to switch around his whole game plan to give Fields the try we all thought he deserved. 

    Unfortunately for this take, it doesn't even matter because Dalton is injured and Fields gets his first start against the powerhouse that is the Cleveland Browns. Fields may have a great career ahead of him, but there is no way Myles Garrett lets that start in Cleveland. Fields is two weeks behind the other rookie starters and that's not good considering they've been playing as such. Bears are still the Bears, Nagy is still Nagy, and the old Cleveland Brown moved to Baltimore in 1996. 

Browns 31 - Bears 16